You know the feeling. On the outside, you’re positive and enthusiastic. You know all the right things to say and you say them. But on the inside, the complete opposite is going on. You’re filled with fear and dread, knowing that you’re a fraud. What if they find out? And you’re always asking yourself, “Why don’t I feel worthy or deserving of success?”
Feeling You’re Less Than You Are
Knowing what you want to be and being it are sometimes miles apart. Especially when you’re a person of faith. You know that 3 John 2 says that God wants you to prosper. So then, why do so many people thrill in telling you that God doesn’t want you to be successful? That true Christ-followers should be lowly doormats barely making enough to scrape by on?
Some Very Bad Thoughts to Hold On To
Some of these ideas are so ingrained in us that it’s hard to escape them. You know the litany:
- I’m not worthy because of something in my past.
- I don’t deserve prosperity because of who I am at the core.
- I feel defective and don’t feel deserving.
- I don’t think I’ve ever felt worthy.
- I haven’t done enough and I know I’m not enough so I can’t be one of those who deserves success.
- I’ve never felt deserving, so why bother trying.
- I don’t think I’m worthy.
- I can’t succeed because I was never taught that I could be successful.
- I can’t be successful in business because God’s people aren’t supposed to be successful.
- I can’t win in business because I’ve made so many stupid mistakes.
- I’m too old/too young.
- I’m a woman/man.
- No one wants to work with me.
- If people knew who I really am they might not like me.
- I won’t know how to help people in the business.
Wow, isn’t it awful to live in that place in your head? But so many do. I’d like to give you some thoughts to replace the ones above.
Some Very Good Thoughts to Replace The Very Bad Thoughts
- I love changing my limiting beliefs.
- I appreciate who I am in Christ now.
- I love realizing Christ has made me deserving of success and abundance.
- I choose to believe I am worthy in Christ.
- I enjoy feeling so deserving and worthy of success in my business.
- I am so relieved to know I am deserving.
- I am so relieved that I am worthy enough to deserve success.
- I am so grateful for my new-found belief in prosperity.
- I choose to love, honor and forgive (insert person’s name).
- I choose to create a successful network marketing (or other type of) business.
- Even though (insert person’s name) sent me mixed messages about success I choose to be successful.
- God has given me the victory in Christ Jesus.
- I choose to live in that victory.
- I choose to believe who I am in Christ.
- I am successful in my chosen business.
Moving Forward in Victory
There are many ways to change your thought patterns (prayer, Emotional Freedom Technique/tapping, speaking the above affirmations over yourself, meditate on the positive affirmations, etc.) but one thing is clear, our thought life is absolutely manifested in our physical life. Changing your thoughts (the Bible calls it tearing down strongholds) may not happen overnight, but with some effort you can do it. Soon, you’ll no longer be asking yourself, “Why don’t I feel worthy or deserving of success?” You’ll be manifesting success!
What are some ways you change your thought patterns?
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Barbara Carr says
The Greek definition of the word ‘Saved” (Sozo) is Saved, Healed, Delivered, Blessed, Set Apart, Prospered, Protected, Made Whole.
If we are not believing that as Christians then we are denying what Jesus accomplished on the cross (or not fully understanding what Jesus accomplished). It is finished. It is done. We are asked to believe. Once we believe these are ours then we will live them out and experience them. Our actions will follow our beliefs.
Stay focused! Thanks Carol
carundle says
Amen, Barbara! Thanks for your input!
Beverley Golden says
Once I understood that 98% of everything we think and feel and the judgements we have are not even ours, I understood how caught up in other people’s stuff we humans often are. It’s a vicious cycle, as from a young age we start believing things about ourselves, that we make into stories and start living our lives as if the stories are true. In reality, once we learn to stand back and objectively observe what is actually “so” we can let go of the drama and the stories and live from the facts. It isn’t always easy, as often people have invested a lot of time and energy in perpetuating their story, even if it isn’t true. It takes an open willingness to want to change and to let go of the past and create a new life with a fresh perspective. This is a message that we all need to keep hearing, Carol, so thanks for sharing such an important post!
carundle says
I’m glad it resonated with you, Beverly! Everything you said is so true, it’s time to separate our real selves from the stories we’ve bought into about ourselves.
Roslyn Tanner Evans says
Try telling someone they made up a story about x. That doesn’t work, but more than not, people are exploring their own limiting beliefs and transforming them. Fortunately I have many years ago and life is so much cleaner.
carundle says
Usually people have to come to their own realization about why things aren’t working in their lives. The best we can do is support them.
Clive Maloney says
I’ve heard a lot of great stuff about emotional freedom technique. That’s a good tool to have in your kit Carol. Good job with those replacement belief statements. It’s no good us simply denying our current belief system or admonishing ourselves for our own feelings of inadequacies. We have to change the way we think and feel about ourselves if we want change.
carundle says
You’re right, Clive, denying that things exist doesn’t work. We need to replace negative beliefs.
Katarina says
Thanks Carol, it is always so important to believe in oneself and feel worthy, even though not always that easy to do.
carundle says
You’re right, Katarina, it’s not easy, but it’s so important to living a fulfilling life.
Leslie Block says
Sweet post! These lessons I have learned the hard way over time by taking to wrong path sometimes that God did not lead me down. Keeping an open heart for Him and not listening to others helps to keep me on the right path.
carundle says
Yes, Leslie, it’s critical to follow God’s guidance in these matters.
Sharon MacLean says
Yes, yes, yes: “Our thought life is absolutely manifested in our physical life.”
And repeat.
I needed to:
1. Stop myself every time a pity-party-thought arose
2. Stop the pity parties
3. Stop watching sad, violent movies
4. Stop reading violent news
And started smiling more.
Sharon
carundle says
It’s amazing how much of an effect what we watch and hear has on us. I guess that’s why the Bible encourages us to be very careful in those areas!
Lisa mason says
You are so spot on with this! I’ve been there before and it took real effort and hard work to unlearn those bad thoughts and negative thinking patters. Not feeling worthy or “good enough” was a common theme for a good part of my life.
carundle says
I think it’s much more common than we know because we’ve been taught to put on a brave face. That’s why I wrote this post, to help others dealing with it.
Kristen Wilson says
Wow.. well, I think my issue has NOTHING to do with my success in my business, but my home life.. yea, not the greatest and I can relate to a lot of those things in that… I am working on focusing on the good stuff to drown out the negative. Crazy that my personal like lacks and my business life rocks… mainly because that is something I have pretty much total control over… with my personal life, it’s finding other people to be friends, forced to a state I didn’t want to go to, leaving a state and job and friends I didn’t want to leave, not liking my house, my boyfriend’s job sending him out all the time and my mom being a royal PIA not to mention my 19 year old completely killing my joy in life, and that of a mother.. all things I have very little control over… so, I guess I’ll just focus on work and my business! lol
carundle says
Wow, Kristen, I’m so sorry that your personal life is so rough right now. But at least you can concentrate on your rocking business!
Beth says
While I am not a very religious person and do not necessarily rely on faith to guide me, I think I am still a very spiritual person and try to step back at times when I might find myself wanting to go down the proverbial rabbit hole and dig pretty deep to find my direction and purpose again. It’s not easy…complaining or feeling like a victim is a much more natural reaction but I fight hard to rise above. And when all else fails, there is vodka 🙂
carundle says
I think it’s human nature to go the negative route (that’s why so many people do it!). It takes strength to rise above it.
Jackie Harder says
One way to change negative thoughts into positive is to ask yourself, “What can I create from this?” There are always things you can do to maximize and focus your energy.
carundle says
Great idea, Jackie! Thanks!